WHIRLWIND

I need to apologize for not keeping everyone up to date about my journey. I have been up in Baltimore for my biopsy and treatment since Tuesday, January 3rd. A lot has been going on and as usual it takes me quite a while to process everything.

Because my radiation treatment is basically every day for about 2-2 ½ weeks (or perhaps more depending upon the stage of my cancer), I have decided to stay in Baltimore. B and Susan had driven me up and stayed so that they could be here with me as I went through another biopsy on the January 4th. Erica Allen had met us at the American Cancer Society’s (ACS) Hope Lodge where she and I are staying while I am here getting my radiation treatment. I am hoping to provide more of the miraculous information about how Erica came to be my caregiver on a later post.

The Lodge here is very beautiful and well organized. It is free to stay here, and it is run on nothing but donations to the ACS. I plan to take pictures of the different parts of the Lodge. It is gorgeous, and the staff here are so very caring and are always wanting to serve the guests in every way. I have felt a lot of love at this Lodge. The guests are also so friendly and humble with willing hearts to always help one another. They seem to freely share about their experiences and genuinely inquire about how each of us are doing. I guess perhaps cancer does that to you.

On January 4th, I had my 2nd biopsy. That was challenging and rather interesting. So just to catch you up on details about my lung cancer. I have multiple nodules in both of my lungs and most of them are not the typical solid masses that are seen with cancer. The CT and PET scans have shown that these multiple spots on my lung could be either signs of serious infection or cancer or just benign masses. The only thing that is known for certain is the large mass measuring 5x6x7.5 cm in the upper lobe of my left lung is cancerous. This was the one that was biopsied on 12/8/22. Because of the unusual presentation of these other nodules in both of my lungs, the JH doctors were not yet able to determine the stage of my lung cancer. A biopsy on one of these unusual looking nodules will identify if the cancer is in stage 3 or 4. This is significant because stage 4 cancer is treatable but not curable whereas stage 3 is both treatable and curable. So if the 2nd biopsy on one of the nodules in my lungs demonstrates that it is a cancerous lesion then I have stage 4 cancer. If it is not cancerous then I am at stage 3.

The challenge during this 2nd biopsy was when the doctor poked the nodule to take a sample, it bled profusely. I did not really cough up blood, it just came up and out of my mouth causing me to cough a little. My reaction was typical. I started to have those doom and gloom thoughts: “Lord am I going to die right here and now drowning in my own blood that is coming out of my lungs because the doctor had poked this nodule?” All I could do was to pray to be focused and not to panic. It was already difficult to breath lying flat on my stomach for the procedure and now suddenly blood just kept coming up and out and I had to continue to lie still for the doctor to complete the procedure. As always, God just calmed my heart and mind, and I was okay if that was the way he chose for me to pass. I found myself confirming, “Father, you are in control of if I live or die today. I surrender my all to you and trust that you know exactly what I need.” Thank you, God, for helping me to stay calm. The nurse even stated that it was good that I did not panic because things could have been worse for me if I did.

The doctor stated that this was more indicative of a lesion rather than infection. Culture will be sent off to see if anything grows. The question though is if it is a lesion, then is it cancerous? Multiple biopsies cannot be done on my lungs to determine what all the other sites are so doctors will develop a treatment plan based on the result of the biopsy on this one nodule.

The radiation treatment that I am to receive now is designed basically to shrink the large cancerous tumor in the upper lobe of my left lung. Regardless of in what stage my cancer is, with the tumor shrinking, it should help me to have less shortness of breath and less chest pain. It is a comfort measure which I appreciate so much.

So yesterday was supposed to be my first radiation treatment appointment. I was lying on the table a long time, and nothing was happening. I started to get cold, so I called out about trying to get a blanket or something. I was cut short because apparently something the doctors saw on the images made them stop what they were supposed to be doing. Then the techs told me to get dressed and the doctor would like to see me. Of course, again my first reaction and thought were: “Oh no, something is totally wrong with my tumor. Maybe radiation is no longer an option.” Again, I had to call out to God in quick prayer. “Father, you are in control of all these things. You determine everything about my life. I trust that you will work this all out.”

Dr. Hales, the radiation specialist at JH, informed me that my tumor had shifted. What? You may be saying. I have never heard of moving tumors. The mass had apparently caused the upper part of the lung lobe to collapse, so the tumor move to the empty space of where the lung used to be. The change in position has now affected the original radiation treatment plan. To be effective, radiation must be precisely placed to shrink the tumor. The new radiation treatment plan will not be completed until Tuesday. Fortunately, I can do the radiation treatments for the next 2 sessions since Dr. Hales had found out that there was a couple of areas that could be irradiated that would be effective in shrinking the tumor although it had moved. I am now back on schedule and the 2-week radiation treatment to shrink my tumor has now been extended out to just one more day.

Now it is just a matter of waiting to hear more news about the stage of my cancer so that the full treatment plan can be worked up. The one good thing though that Dr. Hales shared yesterday is that I have the EGFR mutation type of cancer. This just basically means that if I have stage 4 cancer, then my “chemotherapy” medication will be administered in a pill form and that this drug is much more targeted toward shrinking this specific type of cancer and prevent it from growing more. But again, he emphasized that stage 4 is treatable but not curable.

COMMENTS WHEN BLOG WAS FIRST POSTED ON CARING BRIDGE SITE:

Vicki Sandiford: Wow, Kim! That's a lot to process! God is our rock in the middle of the storm. So glad He is your comfort and peace in the middle of your storm. So thankful for the HOPE Lodge and all the support you have. How miraculous that Erica Allen is there for you! Prayers going up often for you every day! Love, Vicki

Pam Franz: Thank you Kim for this prayerful, thoughtful, honest, informative and clinical analysis of what you are experiencing emotionally, spiritually and physically. Our prayers are with you, your caregiver and Dr. Hales every day.