SEEING GOD’S LOVE THROUGH JESUS’ RELATIONSHIP WITH ME

I believe that embracing the diagnosis of cancer and its potential death sentence is never something that anyone can do on their own.  Though being surrounded by loved ones is very beneficial, it is truly only God who gives me his peace and who helps me to surrender completely to his will.  As different situations have been unravelling, God continually helps me to grasp more of what Jesus must have felt when he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42 NIV)

Of course, unlike Jesus, none of us will ever have to worry about God forsaking us because God made Jesus sin for us (Hebrews 13:5 and 2 Corinthians 5:21).  Nor would we ever have to go through the heart-wrenching betrayal that Jesus experienced.  I try to imagine what Matthew witnessed that Friday afternoon as Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”). (Matthew 27:46 NIV) It is unfathomable to imagine what Jesus must have felt when God had turned his back on him, especially when Jesus explained in John 5:19 (NLT) “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.”  Talk about being totally lost without direction yet being completely surrendered to God’s perfect plan!  And Whoa ALL this for me to possibly have a relationship with God!  No wonder it takes God to help any of us to understand this profound mystery.

I know that God’s will for me is to be deeply touched with this unique way of demonstrating how much he loves each of us through the sacrifice and separation of him and Jesus.  His love extends beyond his sacrifice in that it gives us the hope of being raised into a new creation as Jesus was resurrected from death and from his separation from God.  Romans 6:4 (NIV) We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.  He was raised to return to God and was seated in the place of honor at God’s right side.  As it says in Hebrews 10:12 (ERV) But Christ offered only one sacrifice for sins, and that sacrifice is good for all time. Then he sat down at the right side of God.

None of us could ever do any of this on our own as Jesus told his disciples Matthew 19:26 (NIV). “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” 

However, just as Peter was required to respond to Jesus by getting out of the boat to walk on water, so we must also respond with faith. (Matthew 14:29). It is again God who helps us to have that much needed faith, as we beg him to help us to understand his will for us.  Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

I see that to have God’s peace and his salvation, it takes having that close, intimate, personal relationship with Jesus.  God is the only one who can give us that understanding of how much he loves each of us in that he allowed his son Jesus to take our place.  Each of us deserves to die and go to hell since God cannot exist with sin (Isaiah 59:1-2).  We are all just nothing but a bunch of sinners—no different than the sex offender or murderer down the street.  Romans 3:23 (NIV) for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  All sin is just that—sin.  And, instead of giving each of us what we deserve—eternal suffering in hell and nothing but strife and bitterness on earth—God made Jesus our perfect sacrificial lamb to make atonement for our sin, committed in past, present and future once and for all. (1John 2:2) God has saved us as it says in John 3:16 (NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 

God has done all this in hopes that we might drop to our knees before him, begging him to help us to have that deep and intimate relationship with Jesus. And this salvation is only for those of us who truly continually make Jesus the Lord of our lives, surrendering all things to him.  He saves me only because I have asked him to help me to respond to his grace.  Peter was given the keys to help us know what we must do in response to God’s gracious, loving gift.

Acts 2:36-39 (NIV)

36 “Therefore, let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Messiah.”

37 When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?”

38 Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.”

God has blessed me so much with giving me a deeper understanding of how much he loves me as he helps me to stay at the foot of Jesus’ cross.  It is God who has provided me with the ability to praise him as I witness these amazing miracles that have been happening these past few months.  I know that without him, I would have never seen them nor been able to express my deep appreciation to others and to him for all that everyone has done for me.  I would have not been able to recognize all the great ways that he shows me his love through my family, friends and through his body—his church.

2 Corinthians 5:14-19 (NIV)

14 For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 

As I am being compelled by Christ’s love, I understand that it is God who works through my gratitude and gives me a humble heart so that I can respond with his peace and submit to his will for my life.  I completely trust that he is in control of all things, and he knows exactly what is best for me.  Romans 8:28a We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him. 

This promise comforts me as God has graciously revealed to me that I have stage 4 lung cancer and that it was caused by a genetic mutation in my body.  This mutation is seen only in non-smoking Asian women.  With all the research that has been done for this type of cancer, I am grateful to know that my life can be extended a while longer with a targeted drug that I will soon be taking. 

My only prayer request right now is that I will be able to imitate Paul as he said in Philippians 1:18f-20 (EASY) 

Yes, I will continue to be happy. 19 You are praying for me and Jesus Christ's Spirit is helping me. So I know that what has happened to me will have a good result. Yes, God will rescue me. 20 I never want to do anything that will cause me to be ashamed. I hope very much that I will never do that. I want to be brave now, as I always have been. In the way that I live, I want to show that Christ is very great. I want to do that if I continue to live. And I want to do that if I die.

To God be the glory forever and ever.  Amen.

COMMENTS WHEN BLOG WAS FIRST POSTED ON CARING BRIDGE SITE:

Marlene MENSER: What a beautiful perspective and entry. This one touched me. Thank you for sharing the word with us.

Shelly Booker: Continuing to pray for you Kim!

cassandra senter: Kim, I know that God will continue to use you as a light to help others to Him through this all and all the events of your life. I continue to pray that you will feel His strong love carrying you through this journey and all of our prayers to Him on your behalf. I love you always...Cass

Joan Nicol : Good Morning Kim. My prayers are with you. God will never leave you nor forsake you. It's great to know that thru hardships and suffering we have Jesus sitting at the right hand of God and The Holy Spirit interceding in our prayers. Love you! Sending hugs🥰🤗❤️❤️

Tina Nicholson : Kim, God is using you to present and live out his Gospel in a big way. May he continue to give you courage as you cope with your diagnosis. Praying for the efficacy of your treatment. Love and blessings.

GREG FAWCETT : Kim, your faith is so encouraging. You are in our prayers and God’s love is shining through you very brightly! ❤️