GOD, ME, AND THE CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS

 (NOTE: All scripture cited are taken from the New International Version-NIV unless otherwise indicated.)

Ah Christmas time.  When I think of Christmas, I often reflect on the different traditions that my family had developed over the years.  We would make Christmas cookies, so that we could give a few to Santa Claus along with a glass of milk.  (Regular old Vitamin D milk that is since there was no such thing as low-fat milk back then.)   Another thing that I remember is the various times when we—the kids—had made ornaments from different kits to hang on our Christmas tree. 

In the early years, my family would trim two trees.  One tree my parents put up for visitors to admire and the other tree was for us kids to decorate. 

The adults’ tree was artificial, made of shiny silver branches that held identical, mirrored blue balls. The tree would spin on a stand, which played the song “Jingle Bells” while a light above the tree shone through a rotating wheel of colors. It created a spectacular display of great beauty as the red, blue, yellow, and green hues reflected off the shiny metallic branches. We kids would often lie under the tree and be mesmerize by the gorgeous display of colors while we tried to sing along with the music as the tree slowly spun in the stand. (Okay yah, we tried touching the ornaments as they went by—such naughty kids!)  

The children’s tree was a real evergreen one. My whole family would peruse around a Christmas tree lot to select the best one to buy. We then would decorate this tree with our homemade ornaments along with a fresh hand-made popcorn garland, which we kids would make together. I believe that the custom of making a garland out of fresh popcorn may have been a tradition that my dad’s family had growing up because I think I remember him showing us how to do it.

To fashion these Christmas ornaments from a kit, my older sister, Cindy, would gather together my siblings and me to create these things that we could proudly display on our tree.

One year, Cindy showed us how to make ornaments out of empty eggshells. (I think that I was a pre-teen at that time.) At first, it reminded me of when we would color our eggs at Easter, but we used raw eggs this time. We put our eggs into bowls with drops of different food coloring, water, and vinegar. (Vinegar helps the color to seep deeper into the shell for a richer hue.)  We then put a pinhole in the top and bottom of the egg and blew into the top hole to get the raw egg out of the shell.  It was hard to blow to get the insides out.  It made me a little light-headed and I got such a bad headache.  Cindy had to finish blowing out the rest of the raw egg for me and for my younger sister.  I remember making my ornament because during the whole process my egg had cracked.  It was so difficult to get the raw egg out of the shell that I did not want to start over so I decided I would do something to “work with it”.  Since my mom was a seamstress, I used some of her leftover lace around the cracks of the eggshell so that it would all hold together.  I cut out a hole in the front of the egg, using my mom’s pair of small scissors.  Using toothpicks, a cotton ball, and some good old Elmer’s glue, I made Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  I then put some of the leftover cotton from the ball to make snow for Rudolph to stand in the ornament.  I loved making this ornament, and I would hang it on our family tree every year.  I still have that eggshell, and I have posted a picture of it here.

Some of you might know that I enjoy crafting.  It is not ever really been anything spectacular, but I love doing little projects.  The most recent one I did was 59 Christmas ornaments to give to some of my friends and co-workers.

Over the many years growing up, Cindy had really instilled the desire in me to create things.  She always had a very inviting way of directing us kids to do things together, like acting out skits or making things like candles. I still remember us making different puppets to put on a show.  We progressed from making puppets out of toothpicks and acorns to ones that had paper-mâché heads and robes that she had quickly produced using mom’s sewing machine. 

Once, she and I had made paper dogs.  (Yes, it is not a typo.  They were dogs rather than people.)  I had somewhat perfected my ability to draw Snoopy from the cartoon “Peanuts”, and I remember that she had made a Pekinese.  We had beds, bowls, collars, and leashes and even a paper home (The paper home was unfortunately not very stable because we did not have card stock back then.)

I remember getting frustrated as I was constructing Snoopy and his accessories because I often did not think that I did a good enough job in making them, especially when I had compared my creations to what Cindy did.  Out of my disappointment, I crumbled up many pieces of paper, trying to start afresh in hopes that the next time it would turn out better.  I believe that in the end as always, Cindy assisted me with making the little accessories so eventually, I was satisfied enough to play with my paper Snoopy in the environment that we created.  She and I had played with these paper dogs for just a couple of days and then we would create some other toy.

Perhaps you might be wondering why I am writing about this.  What do these memories have to do with my cancer and my relationship with God? 

God has graciously given man, whom he had created in his image, the ability to create and to find such pleasure in the making of our little masterpieces.  God has provided each of us with different abilities.  Some of us like Cindy, find our talents at an early age to the point where it seems we are born with them.  Others of us like me, the skill is cultivated and refined as someone else assists us in discovering what gifts God has provided.  

At times when I dwell on the fact that my cancer is a result of a genetic mutation, I know that I will never fully understand what God’s plan is when it comes to him creating these deadly variations.  Though I fully trust that God is in control of all things and that he continually does what is best for me and all of mankind, I will always need the Holy Spirit to guide me in how God wants me to view all of what he creates.  God has created all things perfectly.  He never makes a mistake.

In verses 8 and 9 of Isaiah 55, it basically points out that God is God, and we are not. As humans, we are so limited in our ability to see beyond what is in front of our faces.

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

    neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord.

9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,

    so are my ways higher than your ways

    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Over the years, I have studied about God being the Creator of all things.  I looked at God’s attitude toward mankind and my own attitude toward what I have created.  Of course, since I am so finite in my wisdom, most times, I have difficulty with seeing any potential behind what I consider a “mess up”.  The exception of course was when I made my eggshell ornament, where I “made it work”.  Of course, again the reason why I did not do a “do over” at that time was mostly because to prepare another eggshell was too painful to even think of enduring.  Such of course, is never an issue with God, who created all things perfectly just with speaking them into existence.

Now as I look at my old ornament—all beaten up and changing colors—I see how it is teaching me some different lessons this year so perhaps this is why God worked it out for this ornament to survive through these years—after all it is made from an eggshell.  

Even as I am writing this, my heart swells with so much gratitude—gratitude for my sister, Cindy, for her imagination and creativity and for helping to instill within me this desire to create.  At such a young age, she demonstrated a belief in the rest of us kids that we could also do great things.  She had a way of helping us to build these things together and always made it fun.  Looking at this old beaten-up ornament warms my heart for the great memories that we had created together as a family.

This gratitude is something new for me since growing up I tended to compare myself to Cindy and over the many years, I developed a very jealous heart.  Because I put most of my self-worth in what I do (including creating my little projects), this unhealthy comparison produced much disappointment and frustration in myself and with my limitations.  It seemed like I failed at everything I did, and my solution was always to do a “do over.”

Thanks be to God that he helps me to see his creation of me so differently.  As I create my little projects (I love to craft now) and decide to do a “do over” because I believe I messed up, I praise God so much for never having the same attitude toward me or even toward mankind.

At times, it is so hard for me to wrap my heart and head around how much God loves me and loves us all.  For instance, God did not do a “do over” when Adam and Eve disobeyed the ONE command that he had given Adam:

Genesis 2:16-17

16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

God already knew what had happened when Adam and Eve ate from the tree, yet he called out to Adam to ask him where he was.  God did not just walk away from the relationship as I so easily do.  He still provided for Adam and Eve with making them a set of more decent wraps to replace those flimsy fig leaves.  Of course, because God is so pure and perfect, Adam and Eve could no longer walk together with God in the Garden of Eden. 

God allows us all freewill and because of Adam’s and Eve’s desire to be like God themselves, they decided to disobey that one command.  This act then gave us the knowledge of good and evil.  Initially, it would appear to be a great thing to have, but what is interesting is that despite this knowledge, there is so much evil in the world.  I guess it is because of the human desire to be in control and because we are not capable of loving as God does.  We all want to be “gods” and spend most of our lives trying to convince others that we are “right” and that we know what is “best”.

Even when God regretted making mankind as he noted how wicked we had become with every inclination of the thoughts in our hearts being only evil all the time, he saved mankind through Noah, the only righteous man in the whole world who” found favor in the eyes of the Lord.”  Genesis 6:5-8. Though we were a complete mess, God allowed Noah the only righteous man, his wife, his three sons and their wives to survive along with all the land animals and birds of the air.  God did not do a “do over”.

Also, after he smelled the pleasing aroma of Noah’s burnt offerings, God said in his heart as quoted in Genesis 8:21:

“Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.”  

God did not throw everything away.  Though we are just so evil, God decided to call different people at various times to know him more intimately and they responded.  He even established a nation of people (the Israelites) that he used to teach the whole world about his power, love, and grace.  

And in the very beginning, God promised that he would send us Jesus through whom all nations would be blessed.  God had foretold this fact to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

Genesis 22:17-18 cites God’s promise to Abraham:

17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.”

Genesis 26:4-5 cites God’s promise to Isaac:

4 I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and will give them all these lands, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, 5 because Abraham obeyed me and did everything I required of him, keeping my commands, my decrees and my instructions.”

Genesis 28:14 cites God’s promise to Jacob:

14 Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. 

Exodus 19 records what God told Moses about his plans for the Israelites:

5 Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession. Although the whole earth is mine, 6 you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. 

Unlike when I craft and try to create things, God had a plan from the very beginning just as it says in Acts 17:26 (NLT): 

26 From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries.

I know that God had determined great plans for me as well so that I can see that even with my cancer, I am his masterpiece.

Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

This Christmas season has been special for me as I have helped my mom with her tradition of baking Christmas cookies for her to give as gifts to friends and family since Santa no longer needs our plate of cookies and milk.  Unfortunately, this year with time constraints and our physical limitations, she and I decorated the cookies separately, but the sea of them still helps me to remember the beauty of creating something together as a family.

It has been even more special for me this year because due to my physical health and spacial limitations, I had thought that my crafting days were over.  I had such a beautiful time looking for the insides of the ornaments thinking of the different recipients who I believed would truly enjoy them.  For instance, one of my co-workers loves the color black so I shopped around for something that was black and elegant. I found the perfect ribbon to stuff in the ornament.

During the time that I was creating these ornaments, I thought about my friends and co-workers and of course my memories of creating things when I was a child.  I thought about how God gave me different ideas of the logistics in how I could do all this creating in my small living space—the old master suite of my parent’s house.  I was so full of gratitude of currently having the strength and energy to fashion these ornaments.  (Of course, I was wiped out for about a week after making and delivering them.)

Over this past month, I have learned more about God’s plan for me, and because of his love and mercy, I have been able to embrace this plan a bit more each day.  God has helped me to be so much more grateful for the little things in life, like making cookies and ornaments, going to a pajama party, hanging out with family and friends, and even when my body just needs to rest as the Holy Spirit tells me to “Be Still.”  (Embracing this last one is still very much a work in progress.)

I must admit it is still so easy to get caught up in the commercialism of making and giving gifts that I can forget Jesus is the “reason for the season”.  I appreciate the sayings in the Christmas card that one of my best friends had given to me this year.  It helped me to remember Jesus:

2 Corinthians 9:15

“Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” 

At Christmas may your heart rejoice in knowing you’ve received from Him The Greatest Gift of All.

Yes, thank you Jesus for being so totally humble that you would come here to earth as a baby growing in a teenage girl’s womb during the time when having babies outside of wedlock was so disgraceful and frightening.  (During that time, God had commanded his people to stone a fellow Israelite when the person was caught in sin.  Mary took a great risk when she agreed to allow Jesus to grow in her womb.)  Thank you, Lord, that when it was time for Mary to give birth to you, she and Joseph were staying in the stinky room where the animals were kept so that first man-made thing that held you was a feeding trough--a manger.  Thank you, Jesus, for entrusting your early years to ordinary, unimportant, common folk.  The circumstances in which you came here to earth demonstrate both the humility that we all are called to have and God’s great love for us.  God, you have such great faith in mankind with trusting that one day some of us would return to you as we respond with gratitude for your indescribable gift.  Thank you most especially for Jesus being that perfect sacrificial lamb so that I can come to know you more intimately each day.  Thank you that I can share my love to you and to others in this way.  Merry Christmas EVERYONE.  To God be the glory.  Amen!

COMMENTS WHEN BLOG WAS FIRST POSTED ON CARING BRIDGE SITE:

Cindy Fisher: Your ornaments this year were positively gorgeous, Kim! Each one was so unique and beautiful in and of itself. I never realized my role in that part of your life, but I'm so happy and humbled that my meager guidance when we were young instilled such wonderful creativity in you. I tend to flit from one craft to another, while you work on crafts until you become highly skilled at them. For example, you are MUCH better than I at cross-stitching. I have your beautiful hummingbird creation hanging in my office, and it reminds me every day how blessed I am to have a sister like you. May the Lord always hold you in his hands and bless you every day! Merry Christmas and looking forward to seeing you in 2024!

Susan Kennedy : Dearest Kim, even though I’ve never met you in person, I feel I know you through your beautiful messages. You help me to realize how much God cares for me no matter my circumstances and that He has a plan even though we may have no idea what it is. God bless you my Sister.