GOD IS INTO OPENING OUR EYES
- Kim Johnson
- Dec 2, 2023
- 9 min read
I want to share with you the quiet time that I had the morning of November 28, 2023, which was the day that I went to get my latest CT scan. The reason why I want to share this is because I believe that we all need to ask ourselves often about our spiritual blindness. I see that because of my decision to not deal with my negative emotions over all those years, I was blinded to what God has planned for me in how I need to enrich my life with deeper relationships. Since my default is to avoid those negative emotions, it is such a challenge each time to decide to no longer avoid any conflicts, whether it is with others or within myself. This is a new adventure for me to try to express what I am truly feeling to God and to others, instead of accusing or blaming everyone else, but I know that God will continue to open my eyes and the Holy Spirit is always there to help me draw closer to God and to others.
November 28, 2023
Good morning, Father God. It is a beautiful morning though very frigid—29 degrees out now. I am so grateful Father that you have allowed me to have a roof over my head and even an electric blanket to warm me. I thank you God for my parents’ generosity and for their great love for me. Thank you, Father God, so much for my family and for their expressions of love.
Lord today I go to get my CT scan. This is the first one after I have been on the 40 mg of Tagrisso since October 19th so for a whole month now. Lord, I pray so much that it is sufficient to continue to limit my cancer growth. I know that there is nothing wrong with not wanting to die yet. That is why Jesus went to you in the Garden of Gethsemane. Though it was so much more than dying. He did not want to be separated from you. He did not want to suffer so much physically. He did not want to go through all the heart ache of every single disciple abandoning him. I cannot even imagine! But worst of all, being without you even for a moment let alone 3 days! Ugh! And our responses more ugh! But thank you that you are not into statistics and the expectation of 100%. You knew that many would not respond, but Jesus, you did it anyway. And I know the only way you could do this is because you cried out to God all night long by yourself. You tried to get the disciples to be there with you and to make certain that they were focused as well so that they too could be strengthened but they were not there for you, and they slept. Everything was just too much for them. You allowed them the sleep though, and you did not hold it against them. You still loved them and gave to them.
I know you are there for me God. I believe that you have helped me to surrender my cancer to you. I believe that you have helped me to surrender my heart failure to you. I know that I must continue doing so and be diligent in this spiritual battle for my soul and for the souls that are around me.
Father, whatever happens, I pray that I will never stop remembering that you are there for me and that you will always love me. You will always hear my prayers and you will always answer them and for the answers that are “No” or “Not yet”, you will give me the heart that I need when I hear these responses. Thank you, God for the confidence this moment that you who began a good work in me will carry it onto completion. I am sorry that for the longest, I have been trying to take control and trying to make sense of everything and just basically being angry with you about it. I appreciate whatever understanding that you give me now and most especially right now that peace that passes this understanding because I really feel that you got my back! Thank you for always being there for me, even though many times in my ignorance I forget that you are there always and that you always love me. Thank you for helping me these past few weeks with trying to wrestle with you about how I feel about different things. I know we are not done, and we will never be done, but today I am grateful for the progress that you have made in me and for the process though it is still very hard.
Thank you HS for reminding me of how much it is a spiritual battle that is going on around me in my heart and in the hearts of those I interact with. Father, help me to listen to the HS, the deposit guaranteeing what is to come. HS, you are my counselor, my advocate, my way of communicating to God the Father. You are always there within me. You provide me access to the Father and my brother Jesus 24/7. I thank you for that.
Holy Spirit, work in me now as I go into get my test done. Help me to talk with others about Jesus and help me to always pray. Lord, they must access my veins and I have not been able to drink a lot of water. Please Father, help them to get the contrast dye in me. Help my veins not cause a bunch of trouble. Again, though Father, I must always rely on you and know that you are always in control of all things and that with that, I may never know why things happen, but I pray that I may always look to you for it all regardless of the outcome of things going on around and in me.
Thank you, God for giving man the technology, the understanding, etc. in helping to evaluate and to be used by you to help with the healing. You are the ultimate healer and the ultimate decider about all things. All we can do is come to you continually and wait on you. Even the waiting is a big lesson itself. Reliance on the Lord—total reliance on you!
You would think that with all this that we would be less inclined to desire that control, but alas we are human—little adams and eves.
It is interesting with what Cassie had thought about Eve. Things would have been so totally different if Eve asked you about the whole thing, if she went to you and talked with you about how she was feeling and asked you for the truth. I guess though that satan just drew out what was already in her heart—the doubt and mistrust and desire to know more. Interesting that this passage talks as well about eyes being opened.
Genesis 3:7-10 (NIV)
7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
Adam and Eve disobeyed God, and their eyes were opened to that fact now knowing the difference between good and evil. They felt ashamed of being naked and afraid of being in the presence of God since they now knew that they had disobeyed God. Was this the first time that humans felt those “negative” emotions?
Opened eyes:
QUOTE FROM THE ABOVE WEBSITE:
"We create a new mental world where we’ve declared a new right and wrong—basically, in which we’re God. (Not that we conceive of it in those terms, but rather, that that’s the effect.)
"But after we fall, we often have that sensation that Adam and Eve had: our eyes are opened. We realize what sad and pathetic excuses we’d made to ourselves, the things we blinded ourselves to. The fog lifts and we see what we’ve really chosen, and what we’ve really rejected.
"This eye-opening, fog-lifting, coming-back-to-reality experience is nothing other than contrition {from Dictionary.com: deeply felt remorse; penitence. Christianity detestation of past sins and a resolve to make amends, either from love of God (perfect contrition) or from hope of heaven (imperfect contrition)}: the grace of God penetrating the cloud we’ve put ourselves in like a clear voice calling us out of our sinfulness, calling us back to Him. It is the grace of conversion, in which we turn away from the little world we’ve made for ourselves and 'turn with' God."
Yet Jesus declares for our eyes to be even more open:
Mark 8:22-26 healing of the blind man that occurred in stages only recorded in Mark. Hmm. Earlier in the passage, he asked his disciples do you still not understand?
John 9 was when Jesus healed the man who was born blind, and Jesus spoke of spiritual blindness at that time as well.
Mark 8:11-26 (NIV)
11 The Pharisees came and began to question Jesus. To test him, they asked him for a sign from heaven. 12 He sighed deeply and said, “Why does this generation ask for a sign? Truly I tell you, no sign will be given to it.” 13 Then he left them, got back into the boat and crossed to the other side.
14 The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them in the boat. 15 “Be careful,” Jesus warned them. “Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.”
16 They discussed this with one another and said, “It is because we have no bread.”
17 Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? 18 Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember? 19 When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?”
“Twelve,” they replied.
20 “And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?”
They answered, “Seven.”
21 He said to them, “Do you still not understand?”
22 They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. 23 He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?”
24 He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.”
25 Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. 26 Jesus sent him home, saying, “Don’t even go into the village.” (Emphasis added.)
Do we not see and understand what Jesus is doing and saying? Our eyes were opened to our sin, but as Adam and Eve, we are just ashamed and don’t know what else to do about it. Jesus is giving us a way back to God: do I not see and understand this?
Almost every day, one of my spiritual brother texts me a scripture and encourages me in my walk with God. This is the one that he sent me this morning (December 2nd):
Good morning my beautiful KIM🙌🏻🙌🏻 HEBREWS 12:15
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. *We must ensure that no one falls away from God's grace and that no bitterness arises and causes problems, corrupting others. I must cultivate healthy relationships and avoid attitudes that can harm me and others.
HAVE A BLESSED DAY 💪🏻❤️🙌🏻
Because of where I am now at in my walk with God and what the Holy Spirit is graciously revealing to me, I feel that this is also so appropriate with what I just shared about God opening our spiritual eyes. This is how I responded to his encouragement:
Yes, thank you my brother. I give glory to the Lord for showing me that when I had run away from conflict, I was allowing bitterness to grow but that God always desires for us to have more healthy relationships with him and one another. Thanks be to God for giving us the Holy Spirit to continually guide us in the way that we are to go. Amen!
Jesus had prayed for all his believers on the night that Judas betrayed him. God’s desire is for us all to be “ONE” in the Father and in Jesus just as Jesus and the Father are one:
John 17:20-23 (NIV)
20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
This is God’s ultimate plan for us all to be unified in him. To God be the glory! Amen.
This is a song called "Love Yah" by Rizon. It reminds me that I can only love God because he has loved me first and his love for me is perfect.
Love Yah
COMMENTS WHEN BLOG WAS FIRST POSTED ON CARING BRIDGE SITE:
cassandra senter: Thank Kim for all that encouragement through the Scriptures. Reminding us God is always for us.
Jeri Franz: WOW!
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