A MAJOR MIRACLE: DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF GOD’S MIRACULOUS HEALING POWER

2 Kings 6:15-17

15 When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. “Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?” the servant asked.

16 “Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”

17 And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

 2 Corinthians 4:18 (HCSB)

18 So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

So often, I am focused on the various problems and neglect to see life the way that God sees it.  Just as Elisha’s servant, I allow different troubles to bind me, and I become paralyzed with fear.  But I am constantly surrounded by great clouds of witnesses, encouraging me to stay strong.  And the Holy Spirit continuously guides me to focus on Jesus and my relationship with him—that which is unseen and eternal.

For the past 15 months, as I have been on my faithful journey with God while I face my lung cancer diagnosis, my thoughts and feelings about my health issues can so easily rob me of my joy and get me to turn my focus away from God and from his deep love for me.  

The most recent heist was during my trip up to Baltimore.  (Thank you so much again Christine for driving me up there and for always being present during these overwhelming appointments.). With the images of my PET scan performed in March of this year and my February CT scans sent to the Johns Hopkins team, Christine and I (along with my sister, Cindy via FaceTime—thank you as well Cindy always for your great input and questions) met with Dr. Hales and Dr. Hann on March 18th to discuss the results of these scans and the next steps in my cancer treatment.

Since October 2023, I had to reduce the dosage of my cancer targeting therapy drug, known as Tagrisso.  My heart function had progressively decreased, and one of the potential side effects of the medication is that it could cause heart failure.  So, though the 40 mg dosage is not as effective as the 80 mg in controlling the growth of the cancer, the doctors and I had decided to reduce the Tagrisso in hopes that my heart would stop failing.  

I had been getting CT scans locally on the average of every three months over the past year and up to this last scan done at the end of February, there was substantial improvement in the large tumor in my left lung.  At the end of February, the scans were showing that the tumor was starting to grow again.

In the reports of the August and November CT scans, the area where my large tumor in my left lung were actually described as fibrotic scarring rather than a tumor and one of the reports stated, “No evidence of residual or recurrent mass”.  I don’t know exactly what that meant, but after my visit in Baltimore, I went back to the various reports and noted that the tumor in my left upper lobe had started at 7.0 x 5.5 cm in November 2022 and in April 2023, it had reduced to 2.9 x 2 cm.  In February 2024, that tumor had grown to 4.1 x 3.5 cm.  So, the treatment of Tagrisso at 80 mg had been working, but that there is some question about how effective the Tagrisso is at the 40 mg dosage.

As you may recall from the other entries, my cancer has been determined to be terminal and that it is a result of a genetic mutation.  The doctors had diagnosed my cancer to be at stage 4 (terminal) due to the presence of both a large mass in the upper lobe of my left lung and the multiple small tumors in both lungs.  So, though the cancer had not metastasized into other parts of the body, it had already spread throughout the lungs.  

The Tagrisso that I take is a targeted drug therapy.  My understanding is that it works specifically on the mutated cancer cells, thus controlling their growth.  Though the medication has been proven very effective in reducing the growth of the cancerous cells, it does not totally eliminate them and after a certain period of time, the drug will stop working because the mutated cancer cells will eventually mutate further to a form that can no longer be controlled with this medication.  So, my cancer will progress and eventually it will metastasize to other parts of my body.  The issue now is more of when will this come to pass.

In fact, despite all the different tests that I have had done, I see how limited we all are in our understanding of what is happening in our bodies.  Our bodies are constantly changing and growing, in a sense that cells are constantly being made and then broken down into just their parts again and again.  The scans are just providing a snapshot of what may be happening at that time.  I found that different doctors interpret images in varying ways and that sometimes, having multiple scans done may help understand further as to what is going on.  For instance, when the doctors had compared just the PET scans done on December 16, 2022, to the one performed earlier in March, the report stated: “The left perihilar mass seen on today's study appears to be much smaller than its appearance on FDG PET CT 12/16/2022.  The other intense FDG avid lung lesions seen on PET/CT 12/16/2022 are not visualized on today's study.” With just this information, it looks like my cancer has improved substantially, whereas with the information about the various CT scans, it looked even like that the cancer at one point was gone.  Reports in November 2023 stated: “No evidence of residual or recurrent mass” as the doctor was referring to what he had called a fibrotic scarring in the upper lope of the left lung, where the large tumor was previously.  If the cancer was gone previously, the most current CT and PET scans are now showing that the large tumor is measuring 4.1 x 3.5 cm in the upper lope of the left lung once again.

It is also really difficult to say as to why exactly the tumor started to grow again.  Some simplified versions could be that the cancer has now mutated to the point that the Tagrisso is no longer effective so that the cancer is now resistant to the medication.  Another could be that the 40 mg of Tagrisso was just not enough to keep the tumor from growing.

So, during the appointment, Dr. Hales, Dr. Hann, Christine, Cindy, and I had discussed various strategies of what to do now about this new growth.  The doctors proposed 3 options along with the concerns or the risks of those choices:

Option 1:  Low dose radiation (which is what was done last year at my diagnosis):

• Concern 1: Since the site has already been irradiated previously, there is an increased risk in the lungs and heart being further compromised since the radiation changes healthy cells as well.
  

• Concern 2: Since it is low dose, there is a greater risk of the tumor returning a year later so that I will be faced with the same issue, and radiation will no longer be an option at that time.  Two separate times of radiation on the same site is the maximum recommended.

• Benefit: Once again, it will reduce the size of this tumor.

Option 2:  High dose radiation enhanced with chemotherapy:

• Concern 1: Again, since the site has already been irradiated previously, there is an increased risk in the lungs and heart being further compromised since the radiation changes healthy cells as well.

• Concern 2: Chemotherapy must be added to the regiment for the radiation to provide the full effect for the cancer to go into remission.  I am very uncomfortable considering using this type of chemotherapy for myself since I now have knowledge of its great potential of harming the environment and of affecting other people’s health since the drug stays intact for a long time as it goes out of the body through its waste and into our water supply.

• Benefit: This is now an option.  Previously because of the many small tumors that were in the other parts of both lungs, the idea of remission was not possible.  Now that these little tumors are gone, it greatly increases the possibility of the cancer going into remission.

Option 3:  Increase Tagrisso to 80 mg for the next 8 weeks and see what that does:

• Concern 1: Tumor may have mutated so that Tagrisso is no longer working.

• Concern 2: Higher dose of Tagrisso could continue to affect my heart.

• Concern 3: If Tagrisso is not working, the tumor will continue to grow and can spread so the radiation option after the 8 weeks may not be as effective.

• Benefit: No more additional effects of the radiation at this time.

Did you catch what I just wrote and what the latest PET/CT scan report stated?  The report said that the multiple smaller areas which had previously shown a lot of activity in December 2022 were no longer visible.  Dr. Hales even said directly, “The good news is that the other tumors are no longer there so that achieving remission is possible now with using high dose radiation and chemotherapy on the large tumor in your left upper lobe.” 

1 Peter 5:6-8

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

When I am not humble and I am trying to figure all these things out for myself, I tend to miss God’s miracles in my life.  As I said, it is so often that I tend to focus on the problem at hand—the tumor has grown—rather than the miracle that God has already orchestrated.  God had totally wiped out the little tumors that had riddled both of my lungs.  They were NO LONGER THERE!  In a sense, if it were possible to restage my cancer, I would be stage 3 rather than stage 4 (terminal), but alas, the stages do not change.  People keep the one that they received at the time of diagnosis.  I still have terminal lung cancer, but undoubtedly, God has done and still does so many miracles.

With my terminal lung cancer diagnosis, I get to witness God’s healing in all aspects of my life: the emotional, spiritual, mental as well as the physical.  He is healing my relationships, and he is helping me to grow stronger in him.  When I have more of an attitude of gratitude, I focus on his miraculous work, while continuously taking any of my issues straight to him.

Don’t get me wrong.  I must constantly beg God that I stay humble before him so that I don’t lose sight of ALLthe miracles that he is doing.  I see him working through all the challenges and hardships of my own life and the lives of those around me.  I get the privilege of witnessing his mighty works in healing not just our physical bodies but our relationships as well.  But sometimes, it takes something like this new development in my tumor growth to recognize some of those spectacular miracles.  God had miraculous taken away the multiple tumors in other areas of my lungs and has kept them away this whole time. 

What made the focus on God’s miracles so much harder was that I had to make a quick decision as to which option I would choose in going forward with treatment for the growing tumor.  Hearing the word “remission” at that time reminded me of the old saying: dangle a carrot in front of a horse to make him pull the cart.  I wanted so much to embrace the choice that provided a greater probability of totally eliminating the cancer through the high dose radiation, but that had to involve chemotherapy.  I do not think that I could live with myself knowing that I chose to use a drug that would not only greatly affect the environment, but that would also cause others to have cancer.  Going through any additional radiation and the possibility of it doing more damage to my already compromised organs did not sound very appealing either.

So, I chose to give God and the higher dose of Tagrisso an opportunity to work.  Of course, there were still issues with the medication possibly contributing more to my heart failing, but this is where I believe that God can really work his miracles.  I must believe that he will allow the Tagrisso to once again shrink that tumor and that this time, with taking different medications to help my heart, God would also delay the effects of my heart failing.

Also, for some reason when I heard the word “remission” and remembered basically what all the radiation therapy entailed, the words that popped into my mind was “that is the easy way out”.  Not that radiation is at all “easy” on the body nor was it easy with all the arrangements that had to be made.  In fact, it is the exact opposite.  It takes a serious toll on the body, changing the healthy cells as well and I would not have made the radiation therapy sessions last year if it was not for God providing me with Erica.  The reason why I thought that the radiation therapy was a “the easy way out” was because typically for a series of various weeks, you just lie there while something is being done to your body.

With taking the Tagrisso, I believe that I am much more involved in the whole healing process.  For instance, the next morning, the Holy Spirit moved in my heart, and I drastically changed my diet to what I believe is a much healthier diet.  I have been doing more with trying to increase my activity level.  I am begging God to heal me and asking others to beg him as well.  If I go into remission, I want it to be because God and I were working together to do it and not because I decided to put my body through the strain of additional radiation and chemotherapy.

I continue to ask for those prayers that the 80 mg of Tagrisso continues to work in reducing the size of the tumor, and it would be so glorious if I could go into remission just with this drug.  I also need prayers that it does not affect my heart as it had appeared to do so in the past.  

At any rate, I am resolved in my decision that I made for the next 8 weeks in allowing God and the Tagrisso to work on my tumor.  Further tests will demonstrate where the tumor is at in its response to the Tagrisso and if the heart becomes affected.  I believe that God will continue working his mighty power within my body as he is the one who is in control of all things.  He knows my heart and my concern involving these additional treatments that are recommended.  God is teaching me in how to appreciate more of the process and working on taking care of the temple to the Holy Spirit and thus putting my hope in God rather than in what the end result would be.  

Please continue to pray that I do not neglect to recognize and to declare God’s glory demonstrated in the many miracles of my life and the lives of those around me.  And pray that I may continue to live my life as Jesus intended it: to the FULL.

 John 15:9-11

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I (Jesus) loved you. Now remain in my love.10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 

 John 10:10

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Additional note: 

Once more to God’s glory, my latest ECHO has shown that my heart function has improved once again.  It is back to up to 35-40%.  However, I will discuss all the results of this ECHO with my cardiologist soon.  Please continue to pray also for my physical heart.

Once again to God be the glory.  Great things he has done, most especially with giving us his Son!